Salaam CR! First of all, masha’Allah that’s awesome that you came to Islam! Congratulations! I totally get what you mean about being Muslim and still being “you.” We all take time to sort of work that out I guess. Some people think they have to completely change who they are, like take on an entirely separate identity when they become Muslim, when that is not the case. I think in most cases that can be an unnecessary extra stress on a person who has enough to worry about just learning the deen and getting into the swing of things as a Muslim. That’s one reason why I usually discourage people from changing their names, at least legally, because you are you, and becoming Muslim doesn’t cancel out who you are. It only cancels out your past sins (which is awesome) and helps you to be an even better, stronger you, but still you. Does that make sense?

At the same time, there may be things that we did before Islam that might change after we become Muslim if they are actually un-Islamic. Like, if I used to go out drinking with my friends all the time, I’m not going to be doing that now as a Muslim, or at least I’ll be trying my best to leave that part of the way I used to be. So it’s true, we do have to make some adjustments in our lifestyle, our behavior, our actions, but that’s only to make ourselves better and improve ourselves. Islam gives me that motivation to become the best me I can be, while still being me.

It’s definitely a lot harder when you don’t have other Muslims around, especially Muslims your age who you can relate to and hang out with in a normal way. I didn’t really have that in the beginning, but when I went to college, I started meeting more young Muslims, and that helped a lot, because you get to see that you’re not the only one struggling with this, and it’s ok to be struggling. We all have tough times and easy times, and that’s part of life, and it’s ok, and it doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad Muslim, and it’s definitely not limited to reverts like us.

Islam is a balanced way or life, so take a balanced approach to your situation. On one hand, don’t be too hard on yourself. Start with the most fundamental, most core parts of Islam, and start implementing them into your life (as you probably already have), and continue outward from there. If you make mistakes, if you stumble along the way, it’s ok. Talk to Allah, trust in Him, and ask Him to make the way easy for you, and seek His forgiveness. He loves to forgive. At the same time, push yourself to be better, to be stronger, to learn more, to seek Allah’s pleasure, and ask Him to strengthen you in your faith and your focus. Take some time to just sit and pray, not just the daily prayers, but to pray some dua and talk  to Him one on One. Allah hears those who praise Him, and He is deserving of all praise.

If you would like to meet and talk to other reverts, contact me through Facebook and I’d be happy to introduce you to a whole bunch of people insha’Allah.

Salaam sis,
Peter